This is where I write about the second half of my life, in which I am endeavoring to make up for squandering my youth. Although I try to tell myself I needed all those years and the experiences they contained to make me the person I am today – with the abilities and goals and sense of spirituality I now have – I remain questioning whether I could have, should have, done much better with my time and abilities than I did.
There is no use crying over lost time, so I am gathering myself to take advantage of whatever time I have left, to make the best use of the abilities I might still have to somehow make a positive difference in this world.
I began this blog while a Legal Studies student at Kaplan University online. I completed my Bachelor’s Degree Summa Cum Laude in January 2013, and following graduation began working toward a Master’s degree in New Media Journalism through Full Sail University online.
The year 2016 finds me on medical leave from my studies, struggling with managing hypothyroidism and fibromyalgia along with something yet undiagnosed which is causing me to lose the use of my hands. Although it is not certain when, or if, I will be able to return to school and eventually pursue a career (or even just hold a job!), I am grateful that I have been afforded the time to stay at home with my children and assist them with their own online schooling (go K12! – and Insight School of Oklahoma!).
Back in late 2012, while researching for a Humanities paper (on happiness, believe it or not) I came across a book by Satguru Sivaya Subramuniyaswami: Merging with Siva. The chapter I came upon was about preparing for the latter years of life, as well as about death and dying, and the more I read the more I became convinced that what I have believed all my life, and how I have understood life, living, and the world, is more in line with Hinduism than with Christianity.
This blog is intended to document my journey toward self-realization, especially my current steps along the path of developing Krishna Consciousness – although I hope not to dwell much in the realm of my ego outside of this page 🙂
All in all, although money is too tight to mention (as one of my favorite Simply Red songs goes), life is better now than it has ever been. I really no longer regret the past, and I certainly no longer dread the future.