Determination

“Determine never to be idle… It is wonderful how much may be done if we are always doing.” — Thomas Jefferson

If this video doesn’t make you want to get up and move, I don’t know what will!

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“Why do I keep the faith, to your distant heart?” (Hold On (Vicetone Extended Edit) – NERVO

Sometimes, life seems to border on the absurd, and so it seems for me this week.

I would like, very much, not to have to wake to another day of pain, of wishing I could really skate again, of wondering if surgery really is necessary…

I would like, very much, to have peace in my household – not to have the incessant arguing that seems to have become the ‘norm’ for the children I love so dearly, the children I fought so hard to have returned to me…not to have arguing, especially, over stupid XBox games.

I would like, very much, to be able to make sense of my new school, my new coursework – what I thought would be the foundation for the beginning of a new life for me and my family.

I would like, very much, most of all, to be as active in real life as I am in my mind.

∞ ∞ ∞ ∞ ∞ ∞ ∞ ∞ ∞ ∞ ∞ ∞ ∞ ∞ ∞ ∞ ∞ ∞ ∞ ∞ ∞ ∞ ∞ ∞ ∞

“I can’t break away…I can’t make this stop”

At this moment, my MP3 player is missing – it’s really my one link to the (really) active life I so miss. I’ve told the children to look for it – I often let them use it, and it’s not me who was the last to use it….and what’s up with thinking I need to help look for it?

At any rate, I am frustrated with the chain of events that has led to having to cancel my next surgery (was to be 2 days from now), and I am frustrated with the coursework I so long looked forward to.

I could say I’m looking forward to skating tomorrow – I am scheduled to be at the rink tomorrow – but that would be minimizing my frustration with my current limitations. Yes, I am grateful I can skate at all, I am grateful for so very many things…but there are, admittedly, many things I am struggling with.

At the very least, I can say, MP3 player or not, I will be skating tomorrow – I may not be able to jump or spin, but as skating coach Lauren Keeley says, ““The glide never disappoints, it’s always there waiting. Some days, it’s not our best performance, but the glide is always there..”

Here’s to us all, gliding through life!

Trust only movement.  Life happens at the level of events, not of words.  Trust movement.  ~Alfred Adlerx
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Letting Go

Remove Toxins

via iReleaseEndorphins 

What you allow

via Rinf.com

Peaceful Life

via Truth Network

Let Them Go

via Sun Gazing

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I am a peaceful person, and it has bothered me enormously that one of my adult children has become – to put it bluntly and honestly – a slandering pathological liar. It was bad enough for her to repeatedly verbally attack me publicly via the written word, but it is worse that she insists upon dragging my younger children into things. This must stop. I am perfectly within my rights not only to shut this ‘daughter’ of mine out of my life, and the lives of my younger children – and I will be perfectly within my rights to take legal action if necessary.

I know that the person I am speaking of reads this blog, and at this point this is the only means I have of directly making a point. Any further points I need to make to this person will be made by an attorney.

At the very least, I hope the shared images might help others who are dealing with toxic people. Let them go!

The Latter Course

As my sufferings mounted I soon realized there were two ways in which I could respond to my situation – either to react with bitterness or seek to transform the suffering into a creative force. I decided to follow the latter course.

-Martin Luther King Jr.

change something

Not So Fuzzy Memories

From the WordPress Daily Prompt: Describe an item you were incredibly attached to as a child. What became of it?

Nearly five decades ago, when I was four and living with my grandparents in Florida after my dad died, my grandmother took a trip to her childhood home in Virginia (my birthplace) and asked me if there was anything I’d like for her to bring back. My reply: a puppy. And when she returned, she gave me the next best thing, which really become THE best thing of my early childhood: Fuzzy Wuzzy

009008I have many fond memories of my grandfather performing “surgery” on Fuzzy Wuzzy as the beloved pup slowly wore out from love. What I still love best about Fuzzy Wuzzy is that if you look at his face from one side he is smiling, and from the other side he is frowning. He’s always been a natural at reflecting my emotions 🙂

By the time I was six I was horse crazy, and the one thing I wanted most for my birthday was a horse. The next best thing: Roma the stick horse.

007The coolest thing about Roma was his red bridle with a ‘real’ bit, now long-lost. He was a birthday gift from my stepfather, and although it was raining cats and dogs on that particular birthday (as it is today), I spent hours riding Roma around the carport while waiting for the sun to shine again.

I’ve always been a sucker for stuffed creatures that seem as if they desperately need a home, and Farmer was one of those creatures. I discovered him at a Fall Festival when I was in elementary school, and he was worth every penny of the quarter I paid for him. His original paper towel stuffing is long gone, but he still keeps Fuzzy Wuzzy company, along with Snoopy – found alongside a Florida road by my grandfather many years ago.

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Snoopy, Fuzzy Wuzzy, and Farmer

One Christmas when I was very young, I saw a pull-horse toy in a shop window and determined that was the one thing I wanted most for Santa to bring. Out of all the toys I received for Christmas through the years of my childhood, the pull-horse is the one I still have.

My daughter Trinidad lovingly cleans the dust off my old pull-horse after I take him down off a shelf where he's been waiting for quite some time :)

My daughter Trinidad lovingly cleans the dust off my old pull-horse after I take him down off a shelf where he’s been waiting for quite some time 🙂

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Teddy the Koala bear (another of my grandfather’s roadside finds), Snoopy, Roma, Farmer, and Fuzzy Wuzzy

I don’t know how these prized possessions have managed to remain with me all these years. I’ve moved so many times and been so many places, it’s always been a surprise to open a packing box and discover them. I don’t think I’ve ever consciously decided to keep any of them, but however they’ve come to still be with me, I do still love having them 🙂

One more thing…after my dad died, my mother remarried, and my stepfather was an owl fanatic. I remember he had a huge collection of owl statues. And one of the things I still have is an owl towel of his, which I still use to dry the blades on my skates. It never ceases to amaze me that this decades-old towel is still in better condition than any of the towels I’ve bought in the last half-decade. And, it’s orange – my favorite color 🙂

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Freshly laundered and ready for the rink!

My most prized possession these days: my skates

working with Coach Carmon

working with Coach Carmon

about past and present

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