another rainy morning waiting for the school bus
It is the nature of desire never to be fulfilled, but he who utterly gives it up is eternally fulfilled at that very moment. (Kural 370)
The desire to please others, the desire to have my husband and children love me, the desire to have my family pick up their own clutter (and do the dishes and put their laundry away), the desire to make good grades, the desire to skate (and be awesome at that, to boot)….
Desisting from all desire-driven deeds, a renouncer finds liberation approaching, just as he desired.
He who has no desires has no sorrow. But where desire exists, endless sorrows ensue.
When desire, sorrow’s sorrow, dies away, undying bliss prevails here on Earth.
It seems so counter-intuitive, so against basic human nature, not to desire…I have to wonder, what about the desire to help others, the desire to work toward the end of the suffering of others?
There have been many, many butterflies around my home this past week; I have enjoyed taking photos of them, day after day, being completely in-the-moment all those hours. The housework didn’t matter, my schoolwork didn’t matter, only the butterflies going about their butterfly business.
And then, one evening when Trin and I were walking toward my truck, we saw a butterfly caught in the front bumper. I hoped it was only stuck and needed help to be free, but it was injured and unable to fly. We took the butterfly with us to go get Eva from her friend’s house, and cared for him until he died that night. At one point, my husband said, “he’s suffering. Don’t you think you should end his suffering?” I was doing the dishes, with the butterfly on the counter beside the sink, and I replied, “I don’t think it’s my place to end his suffering.” Maybe it was, maybe it wasn’t, but I sure couldn’t see myself killing the butterfly even if it was suffering. I wouldn’t do it to a human, and I couldn’t do it to a butterfly.
“Everything in the world is as it should be – in a perfect state of evolution…When looking at it through the instinctive-intellectual mind, we don’t see this perfection…We have to go in and in and in and reach an expanded state of awareness and gain that mountaintop consciousness where we perceive that there is not injustice in the world. There is not one wrong thing. All is in perfect order and rhythm in Siva’s cosmic dance”. (Lesson 36: The Purity of Awareness, in Merging with Siva)
Yes, I can see where renouncing desire can bring fulfillment, the peace of being completely in the moment and letting God lead the way and take care of the details.