Reunited

Via Golden Light Reiki School:

inner kingdom

people who appreciate

Via Lessons Learned in Life:

speaking and hearing

Via A Peaceful Warrior: 

tell the truth

big and small

some people


I recently received a phone call from a dear sister-friend, who had been missing from my life for several years. We met when I was pregnant with my now 13-year old daughter, and I was shopping for maternity clothes at my friend’s mother’s consignment store. My friend and I have both experienced first-hand the power of the government to destroy lives and tear families apart, and we have both grown stronger and wiser through our similar experiences. Many times we have been separated, sometimes for years, but we always find each other again and somehow pick up where we left off, as if never apart – this time was no different.

I also recently received a rather nasty comment on this blog – another in a series of bitter, hateful, accusatory and derogatory attacks which continue despite my repeated attempts to make peace. There is no making peace with this person, and as if the verbal vomit directed at me wasn’t bad enough, this person has taken to dragging my younger children into the fray. I have stated before, and I will state it again – this must stop.

The most recent spate of hate took issue not only with what I have written about parents and their children’s happiness, but with my assertion that if the personal attacks don’t stop I will have attorney take up the battle on my behalf. It is only a technicality at this point that I gave birth to this commenter, and blood ties do not require me to accept any type of abuse. If I cannot convince someone to stop harassing me, and to stop harassing my children, then I see no other option but to have an attorney do the convincing.

I have told no lies about my life or my past, and there is nothing in my life I have done that I harbor such guilt or shame over that I feel I must hide it. This does not give anyone permission to attempt to publicly mar my reputation, and especially does not give anyone permission to fabricate events – most especially to my younger children – that I must spend time setting the record straight about. I hope this commenter really has “unfollowed” me – but I doubt it – it’s apparently a great source of happiness (satisfaction?) for her to stir up trouble and this blog seems to be a favorite source for contention.

At any rate, as a parent with many years’ experience, I continue to abide by the hard-won understanding that parents cannot be responsible for their children’s happiness. This doesn’t mean a parent should have no interest in their children’s happiness, it simply means that children must learn their happiness does not come from others, or things. It comes from within. My younger children have learned this, but obviously my older children haven’t. And since they were taken from me (no, I did not give them away) and I was not allowed any contact with them – I did not raise them – I really cannot claim responsibility for the fact that they were not taught to simply be happy and not fall into the trap of claiming victimhood.

As for my dear sister-friend, I am most grateful for her return to my life. Dear friends like her are priceless, and I am blessed with many wonderful friends. These are the people I choose to surround myself with, who choose also to be with me.

We all deserve to be among people who understand us and love us for who we are, and who hear us when we speak.

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Determination

“Determine never to be idle… It is wonderful how much may be done if we are always doing.” — Thomas Jefferson

If this video doesn’t make you want to get up and move, I don’t know what will!

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“Why do I keep the faith, to your distant heart?” (Hold On (Vicetone Extended Edit) – NERVO

Sometimes, life seems to border on the absurd, and so it seems for me this week.

I would like, very much, not to have to wake to another day of pain, of wishing I could really skate again, of wondering if surgery really is necessary…

I would like, very much, to have peace in my household – not to have the incessant arguing that seems to have become the ‘norm’ for the children I love so dearly, the children I fought so hard to have returned to me…not to have arguing, especially, over stupid XBox games.

I would like, very much, to be able to make sense of my new school, my new coursework – what I thought would be the foundation for the beginning of a new life for me and my family.

I would like, very much, most of all, to be as active in real life as I am in my mind.

∞ ∞ ∞ ∞ ∞ ∞ ∞ ∞ ∞ ∞ ∞ ∞ ∞ ∞ ∞ ∞ ∞ ∞ ∞ ∞ ∞ ∞ ∞ ∞ ∞

“I can’t break away…I can’t make this stop”

At this moment, my MP3 player is missing – it’s really my one link to the (really) active life I so miss. I’ve told the children to look for it – I often let them use it, and it’s not me who was the last to use it….and what’s up with thinking I need to help look for it?

At any rate, I am frustrated with the chain of events that has led to having to cancel my next surgery (was to be 2 days from now), and I am frustrated with the coursework I so long looked forward to.

I could say I’m looking forward to skating tomorrow – I am scheduled to be at the rink tomorrow – but that would be minimizing my frustration with my current limitations. Yes, I am grateful I can skate at all, I am grateful for so very many things…but there are, admittedly, many things I am struggling with.

At the very least, I can say, MP3 player or not, I will be skating tomorrow – I may not be able to jump or spin, but as skating coach Lauren Keeley says, ““The glide never disappoints, it’s always there waiting. Some days, it’s not our best performance, but the glide is always there..”

Here’s to us all, gliding through life!

Trust only movement.  Life happens at the level of events, not of words.  Trust movement.  ~Alfred Adlerx

The Latter Course

As my sufferings mounted I soon realized there were two ways in which I could respond to my situation – either to react with bitterness or seek to transform the suffering into a creative force. I decided to follow the latter course.

-Martin Luther King Jr.

change something

Healing

“Every one of my scars both inside and out, tell my stories.
Of how, though wounded, I fought. I conquered… And I eventually healed.

My scars make up who I am. Who I was.
They remind me of how life can deal nasty blows.
But eventually I will heal.”

~J. Manning

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You have healed when it doesn’t hurt as much as it used to.
When a day goes by without it stabbing you in the heart.
When you let it go without having to tell yourself to let it go.
When you know you’ve moved forward and made progress.
When you can hear that song and not fall apart.
When you know how stronger you are for all of it. …

When you make different decisions because you’re wiser.
When you know you are not broken.
When forgiveness comes easier. When you shine brighter than before.
When you’ve faced what needed to be faced.
You have healed.
~ Allison Nazarian

Random Essential Thoughts

We can not teach something that we haven’t learned, the same way that we can’t give what we don’t have. When we teach, we give others the chance to learn what we have learned.

“I gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which I must stop and look fear in the face…I say to myself, I’ve lived through this and can take the next thing that comes along.”
~Eleanor Roosevelt

“Be free from the past; abide in the present; detach yourself from the future; and live in the eternal now. Evil has no source, unless the source of evil’s seeming be ignorance itself. “~Gurudeva

“Write down anything from your past that concerns you and burn the paper, holding the intent that the memory will be neutralized. You will still remember, but without the attending emotions.”
~Excerpt From: Satguru Sivaya Subramuniyaswami. “Gurudeva’s Toolbox for a Spiritual Life.”

“Will means that if you’re going to complete something, you complete it. Finish that which you begin. Finish it well, beyond your expectations, no matter how long it takes. “~Gurudeva.

“A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.” – Winston Churchill

“Success is a journey, not a destination.” – Ben Sweetland

“Remember, happiness doesn’t depend upon who you are or what you have; it depends solely on what you think.” – Dale Carnegie